


Pennywise or Ronald McDonald?

by BookWyrm07



Series: Werewolf + Phoenix [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: BAMF Stiles, Crossover, M/M, there's a cat involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 09:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookWyrm07/pseuds/BookWyrm07
Summary: Murdoc attacks Mac's new boyfriend, FBI Agent Stilinski. Stiles isn't impressed.





	Pennywise or Ronald McDonald?

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place five months after the end of Werewolf + Phoenix.

It had been a long day. Sixteen hours in that cramped stuffy van, for what? Not even enough for a search warrant, let alone an arrest or conviction. Walking into his apartment he was greeted by a demanding squeak of a meow. "Hey there, Ellie." Stiles knelt down petting the tuxedo kitten. She stood against his knee and pushed her head up to his. He leaned forward so their heads touched. "I missed you, too." 

She abruptly turned and ran into the kitchen. More demanding squeaks filled the air. "I see how you are. Hi dad, now feed me!" He took off his suit jacket hanging it on the back of the chair. "I'm going to walk in there, and your bowl is going to be full of dry food, isn't it? You just want the canned stuff." He followed her, yawning and confirmed his suspicions. "I'm not heating it this time. You can deal with it room temperature." Stiles chuckled as Ellie dove enthusiastically into her food.

He rubbed a hand over his face. Sleep. Sleep sounded good. He locked his gun in the safe and stripped down to his boxers, leaving his clothes piled on the floor. Stiles fell face first onto his bed and was asleep as soon as h is head hit the pillow. Even exhausted as he was he knew when Ellie curled up on his pillow and began to purr against his head. 

Stiles woke up instantly. Something was different. The rumble coming from Ellie's chest was wrong. She was growling. Movement caught his eye. A glint of silver reflected in the mirror. He dropped his arm down the side of the bed, trying to make it look like he was just shifting in his sleep. Whoever it was froze watching him. After a few minutes the the intruder started forward again. 

Stiles grabbed the stun baton from under the bed. He sat up while swinging the baton with all the strength of his upper body. The baton extended mid swing. A loud cracking could be heard as it made contact with the intruder's wrist. The man grunted in pain. Stiles hit him again. This time he jabbed the baton into his gut, knocking the wind out of him. He pulled the trigger sending twelve million volts through into the man.

Stiles turned on the light so he could see his would be killer. He had dark hair and a weasel like face. He kicked away the knife and set about disarming the unconscious man. After a thorough search he found a handgun, four knives and a pair of zip tie handcuffs. "Well, Ellie he's still out cold, so I'm betting he's human. What do you think? Does he smell like a werewolf?" The kitten sneezed. "I didn't think so." He secured the mans hands behind his back with his own zip tie, and dragged him out to the living room. 

He grabbed his phone off the counter and called his best friend. The phone rang six times before a groggy voice answered. "Stiles, if this call wakes the baby, Malia will kill you."

"She'll need to get in line behind the unconscious man tied up on my floor."

"I really don't want to know what you and your boyfriend are into, Stiles"

"Ha ha, Scott. A guy broke in and tried to stab me in my sleep." 

"Shit! You ok? What happened?" He asked, all traces of sleep gone from his voice. 

"I'm fine. Ellie woke me up with plenty of time. You into anything that could have flunkies or hunters on me? I'm betting the guy is human."

"No," Scott said, "Things have been fairly quiet here. A little scuffle with some harpies, but they wouldn't have human help." 

He ran his hand over his face. "Ok. I bet I know what this is about, then. Sorry to wake you. I just had to check." He paused. "Hey, Scott, don't call the parents, they don't need to worry about this."

"Want me to call Isaac? He can come check for sure the guy isn't a werewolf."

"No. I'm like ninety nine percent sure I know who this is. I just need to make one call to confirm it. I'll call you tomorrow after I get it all sorted."

"I'd feel better if you weren't dealing with this alone." 

"I'm not alone, I've got the great Elliot Ness here to help." He laughed, watching as the kitten sniffed the pile of weapons, boots and the coat he took from unconscious man. "The call I need to make to confirm this bastard's identity will bring backup." 

"If you're sure." Scott still didn't sound convinced.

"I am and I better get on it before asshole wakes up." He hung up with Scott and called his boyfriend. 

The phone was answered after the second ring. "Didn't you just come off a double shift? I thought you would be passed out by now?"

"Oh, I wish. But I need to ask you something. That psycho that's been stalking your team, what's his name, Face?"

"Murdoc." 

Stiles kept going before Mac could say anything more. "I knew it was one of the A-Team. Anyway, is he tall, black hair, weasel faced, wears a nice leather coat?"

"What happened? Did Murdoc come after you?" His voice rose with panic and Stiles could heal movement.

"If Murdoc doesn't fit the description I gave you, then no and I need to call the police, and have them come get the unconscious guy off my floor. If he does, then yeah he attacked me and you should call in the cavalry." 

"Don't move. I'm on my way." Before Stiles could protest the phone was dead. In less time than Stiles would have said was physically possible Mac was walking in the front door. 

"Wow, baby, didn't know you installed hyperdrive in that bike of yours." Stiles was stepping out of the kitchen cup of coffee in hand. Mac looked from his boyfriend, to his nemesis lying face down in the carpet hands tied behind his back and burst into laughter. "Mac?" He only laughed harder. 

Mac clutched his chest, took several deep breaths and promptly burst into another round giggles. It took two more tries before Mac finally nodded. "I'm ok now."

"Good, I was afraid I'd have to tase you."

"Stiles, this man is an international assassin who held my whole team hostage, kidnapped me and nearly killed a woman I worked with, and you caught him single-handed while wearing nothing but boxers covered in teddy bears holding little pink hearts?"

"Mac, baby, you are not laughing at my Valentines boxers."

Mac furrowed his eyebrows, "It's October."

The door was kicked open with a loud crash and the sound of wood splitting. Jack came through the doorway gun drawn. "What the shit, Jack?" Stiles yelled. A canine growl came from outside. Stiles caught the briefest flash of red glow as Jack was tackled to the ground. Mac jumped into the fray pulling the new comer off his partner. "Isaac!?" Stiles shook his head and turned toward his bedroom. "Fuck this! I need pants. If my cat gets out I'm sending all three of you out to search the neighborhood for her." Stiles entered the living room, now wearing jeans, stun baton in hand. "The next guy to throw a punch gets tased."

A high maniacal laugh came from the middle of the room. "Oh, Angus, he is not what I expected at all. I never guessed you'd like someone so... butch, and the cattle prod under the bed." He laughed again. "Hashtag kink..." Stiles jabbed him with the baton again, shocking him back to unconsciousness. 

"Can I get next shot on Murdoc?" Jack sounded eager.

"No one's getting a next shot." Matty walked in and surveyed the chaos. She directed two of the tactical team to take the Murdoc. "Who the hell is that?" She waved a hand at Isaac. He sat still, Jack's gun leveled at his chest.

Mac responded first "Riley is running facial recognition."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Or you could just ask me. His name is Isaac Lahey. He's from Beacon Hills, and he's here because my brother still thinks sarcasm is my only defense."

Riley's voice came out of Mac's phone. "Stiles' ID checks out. Lahey is a licensed weapons distributor, registered foster parent, and an advocate for The Blue Ribbon Project. I found a sealed juvie record. I could bust in, but he's squeaky clean."

"Mister Squeaky Clean packs a hell of a punch. Any harder and he would have dislocated my jaw." Jack tested his jaw from side to side. 

"Mind telling me why you attacked my agent, Mr. Lahey?" She fixed him with an appraising stare.

Stiles went to the kitchen to reclaim his coffee. "You guys have to excuse Isaac's social skills. We tried to house break him, but it just never seemed to take."

"I think my social skills are great, considering I spent half my childhood locked in a freezer." He looked at Matty "I attacked because Scott told me someone tried to kill Stiles. He asked me to check on him. When I got here I saw an armed man kick in his door. I thought he was here to finish the job... not that I would blame him, I mean it is Stiles." 

Stiles sat on the far side of the couch, and started scratching Ellie behind the ears. "Your dad's been dead over ten years, and you're still milking that freezer thing." He shook his head. "Seriously, man get some therapy."

"I doubt therapy is going to work for me like it did you. I would never hooked up someone in a mental hospital."

"No, just with someone that tried to kill you. How many times did Allison stab you, again?"

"We don't sound like that when we start up do we?" Jack asked looking at Mac. His gun already put away.

"No. They're much worse." Mac replied , the looked at Stiles "A mental hospital?"

"Enough" Matty interrupted giving Stiles a hard look. "Now tell me why you called your brother, the veterinarian before you called us?"

Stiles returned her look with out flinching. "I don't work for you. The idea that this was your enemy, and not Scott's, or my dad's or even one of my own didn't even occur to me until I was already talking to Scott. Besides Matty, I had to make sure my weird Beacon Hills crap wasn't going to get your boy killed." Mac stared at Stiles. 

Matty accepted this answer with a small smile. "Now, I need to know that you two understand how serious this is."

Stiles went back to petting the purring kitten replied. "You guys talk about him like he's some kind of sewer dwelling baby eater, he seems more like the kind who wants to sell me cheeseburgers. I mean both are creepy, and not to be trusted, but." He shrugged, "My eleventh grade English teacher was scarier than him."

Isaac spoke up. "To be fair our eleventh grade English teacher ritually sacrificed nine people before kidnapping his dad, Scott's mom and Allison's dad." Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Like I said, way scarier." Stiles sounded exasperated.

Matty narrowed her eyes at Stiles. "Would you be properly concerned if I told you that Murdoc is very much like the guy who helped you and your friends stop Jennifer Blake." Stiles bit his thumbnail. She continued, "He's like Deucalion, but without all the redeeming qualities, and better teeth."

"How does she know all that?" Isaac asked a little shakily.

"Because she's a terrifying little woman. I would accuse her of being telepathic, but I'm afraid she'd be insulated and melt my brain." He looked back at Matty. "Murdoc is a murderous psycho that forces and manipulates other murderous psychos to call him boss, and grow their toenails disgustingly long." Stiles seemed to consider that. "Yeah, still doesn't make my top five. I might rank him equal with Peter." She nodded in understanding. Stiles froze hand halfway down Ellie's back as he looked at woman. "You know who I'm talking about?"

"Peter Hale. I also know that you are taking it seriously." She looked at Isaac. "Are you?"

"I have no idea who you are, and I don't want to. I stayed home tonight. I didn't even answer when Scott called." She nodded. "In fact I'm going to leave now, never speak of this again. Stiles, see you Thursday." Stiles nodded and gave a small wave.

Stiles sprawled out across the couch, setting the kitten on his chest. She booped his head before tucking in her feet and purring loudly. "Phoenix will pay for the door, Stiles. Mac, I'm guessing that you want to stay here."

"I was hoping to get Stiles to agree to come to my place, but I know he won't leave when he can't even get the door to close correctly." Mac sighed. Stiles nodded. 

"Don't forget the rest of weasel face's gear." Stiles yawned.

Jack looked over the pile. "Weapons and coat I understand. Why did you take off his boots and belt?" He started picking up the gear. "And why is his coat wet?" He grimaced and smelled his hand. "Eurgh! Stilinski, your cat peed on this."

"Ellie, did you pee on the mean man's stuff?" She slow blinked. He scratched her chin, "Good girl! As to why I took his boots and belt. I know a guy that keeps a gerotte in his belt. I've seen weapons built into jewelry, and other seemingly harmless accessories. Didn't want to take a chance." He yawned again.

"I want you both at The Phoenix as soon as the door is fixed for debrief. Stilinski, I will take of things with the bureau." With that Matty and Jack were gone.

Mac followed them to the door to check out the damage. The frame would have to be replaced, but he could still hold it shut for tonight. He propped a chair under the doorknob. Once he was sure it was relatively secure he came back to the couch. 

Stiles was already dozing his head back at a painful angle over the arm. Mac picked up the kitten. "Sorry, Ellie. You head to bed and I'll bring him in just a minute." She sneezed in Mac's face before squirming out of his hand. Her tail flicked as she walked to the bedroom. "Stiles, let's get you to bed." Stiles blinked a few times. "Come on, babe" Mac helped Stiles to his feet, and pulled him into his arms. 

The next morning Stiles woke with Mac's arms around him. Ellie was sleeping between their heads. He grabbed Mac's hand, lacing their fingers. "Morning." Mac sounded wide awake. 

Stiles scooted back pressing against his boyfriend. "I don't want to adult today. Let's just stay in bed."

Mac placed a kiss just below Stiles' ear. "Sure, and in a couple of hours Matty will start blowing up our phones, then when we don't answer she'll send Jack to kick in your already broken door." 

Thirty minutes later Stiles hung up his phone. "Management is sending some over. They should be here in the next hour." He sat sideways on the couch facing Mac. He studied his boyfriend. "Mac, before you start asking me about everything Matty and I said last night let me warn you: there is no way I can give you a complete and understandable answer here and now." He kept going before Mac could argue. "You're just too sciencey. You'll need to see it, and I can't show you. So if you really want a complete answer about the shit that went down with Ms. Blake, Deucalion, and all the others things, then you have to come with me to Beacon Hills. I'll tell you everything and Scott can show you. You have to know, though, that the truth on this will change the way you see the world. Literally, everything will be different for you."

Mac gave him a puzzled look. "Sciencey?" Stiles rolled his eyes. "Alright, we go to Beacon Hills. How about next weekend, assuming I'm in town."

Stiles nodded. "I'll set it up with Scott and my dad."

"You, know I have other questions, right?" Stiles motioned for him to go on. "A few days ago you told me you were hanging out with your partner on Thursday, but last night you confirmed plans with Isaac."

"Isaac and Justin know each other, but Justin doesn't know that I know Isaac." Stiles gave a mischievous grin.

"You guys are going to mess with him."

"Mercilessly." He gave a small laugh.

"Ok, and the other question, did you really hook up with someone in a mental hospital?" Stiles blushed. "You did! Seriously?"

"It's not nearly as skeezy as it sounds. Neither of us were really crazy. We had met before we were in Eichen house when I found her in the woods." Mac stared at him mouth agape. Stiles pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know what, it was consensual, and we dated for over a year after that. We are also still friends." He smiled "In fact when we get to Beacon Hills you can ask Malia all about it."

"Malia? Your sister-in-law?" Stiles laughed. Mac shook his head.


End file.
